Reddit’s Funniest Right Now — Oct 31, 2026

The internet did its job again. Here’s the funniest, top-of-the-day stuff from across Reddit — programmer humor, shower thoughts, jokes, and the occasional “technically the truth.” Every entry links straight to the original thread, so go upvote the folks who earned it.

Today’s Top Laughs

1. literallyTwentyThirtyeight
r/ProgrammerHumor

2. In the late ’90s a wealthy guy was discussing his sex life with his doctor friend. The guy says, “Sex with the wife is terrible! I can’t even get it up any more.”
r/Jokes

“Don’t worry,” replies the doctor, “There’s this experimental pill called Viagra that has just come out. It’s guaranteed to get you hard and erect for up to four hours.” The guy says, “Wow, that sounds great! Can you get me some?” “Yes, but because it’s still in development it’s…

3. some music today
r/Unexpected

4. searchAndReplace
r/ProgrammerHumor

5. An old one but so good
r/Jokes

Wife wakes up in the morning and has to go grocery shopping she gets in the car the car will not start, that evening she tells her husband honey you need to fix the car it’s not starting. Husband : what do I look like Mr. Goodwrench? Next day the wife goes to do some laundry and…

6. howIsJenkinsDoingOh
r/ProgrammerHumor

7. A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He spotted someone below, descended, and shouted, “Excuse me, can you help me?
r/Jokes

I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don’t know where I am.” The woman below replied “You’re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 20 feet above the ground. You’re between 45 and 46 degrees north latitude and between 63 and 64 degrees west longitude.”…

8. andItsAFridayAndYouHaveToFixMergeConflicts
r/ProgrammerHumor

9. An Alsatian walks into a telegraph office…
r/Jokes

The clerk says, “May I help you?” The dog says, “Yes, I’d like to send a telegram to my brother in Spitsbergen.” The clerk picks up a pad and pencil and says, “A standard telegram is two Deutschmark, that includes twelve words. Every word after that is ten pfennig.” The Alsatian…

10. shortCircuitEvaluation
r/ProgrammerHumor

11. Why do Jehovah Witnesses go out for dinner on October 31st?
r/Jokes

They don’t like it when strangers knock on their door.

12. mySoftwareJustGotRecruitedIntoACollegeBasketballTeam
r/ProgrammerHumor

13. Remember this one
r/Jokes

A couple, in their nineties, are having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they’re physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his…

14. stayingWellAwayFromThisHouse
r/ProgrammerHumor

15. Why do programmers get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?
r/Jokes

Because oct(31) == dec(25)

Curated from each subreddit’s top posts of the day. All credit to the original posters — click through to view, upvote, and join the discussion on Reddit.