Reddit’s Funniest Right Now — Sep 07, 2026

The internet did its job again. Here’s the funniest, top-of-the-day stuff from across Reddit — programmer humor, shower thoughts, jokes, and the occasional “technically the truth.” Every entry links straight to the original thread, so go upvote the folks who earned it.

Today’s Top Laughs

1. thisCannotBeDenied
r/ProgrammerHumor

2. I met a guy that told me he was autistic
r/Jokes

I asked “So, you take things literally?” And he said “No. That’s a kleptomaniac.”

3. It’s Amstel and not amen 🙈
r/Unexpected

4. nowAndThenPatchUpgrade
r/ProgrammerHumor

5. Two dogs are sitting in the waiting room
r/Jokes

Two dogs are sitting in the waiting room of the veterinary office, reading their doggie magazines. The first dog turns to the second. “So what are you here for?” the first dog asks. “Well, you know how it is, being alone all day in a house?” ” I suppose so…” “Let me tell you.…

6. nowAndThen
r/ProgrammerHumor

7. My wife’s contractions were getting closer so we dashed off to the hospital.
r/Jokes

After getting checked in, the obstetrician came into the room, examined my wife, wrote “Annie” on her chart and left the room. We were obviously confused and asked the nurse what it meant. She said “This means you can go home — there won’t be a baby today.” Even more confused…

8. pickYourDisaster
r/ProgrammerHumor

9. Grandma knows best
r/Jokes

A grandmother was sitting at the dining table after a Sunday lunch visiting with her two grand kids. Stephanie,” Grandma says, “I think you should become a police officer.” “What!?” Stephanie retorted. “I do not want to be a police man.” “Well, from what I hear, you chase after…

10. weNeedToRestructureTheOrganization
r/ProgrammerHumor

11. If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN…
r/Jokes

They will get very angry.

12. mistakenedJavasript
r/ProgrammerHumor

13. I went into the new bakery and I was surprised to see that the baker was a dwarf.
r/Jokes

(or “pygmy” or “midget” or “tiny person” or “person of vertical challenge”, whichever doesn’t offend) Anyway we got chatting, his name’s Peter and he’s the most amazingly witty guy I ever met or thought to meet in a boulangerie. He went into this brilliant routine about…

14. gitHubWithoutGit
r/ProgrammerHumor

15. Over 75% of American adults say they would buy a laser gun if made available to the public,
r/Jokes

according to the Pew Pew Pew Research Center.

Curated from each subreddit’s top posts of the day. All credit to the original posters — click through to view, upvote, and join the discussion on Reddit.